But then I let people properly into my life for long stretches of time: a girlfriend who became a wife, a child who became children. A church who became family.

School holidays are a good probe of character faults.

Are you impatient, distracted, selfish? - it will rise to the surface here.

What do I want my kids to know about me?

That I love Jesus, and I love them, fiercely.

What might they know about me on any given school holiday?

That I love the prime condition of my couch, tidiness, peace and quiet, and control.

The distance my character still has to go is most evident on these days.

I might love the right things, but I love them topsy-turvy.

So now we've proper begun a new year I have two words for me and you: perspective and grace.

2020 is just a number, not a measure of how imperfectly you match what you hoped to see in yourself by this year on your multi-year plan, or even your already failed resolutions.

I'm not the man I used to be. That's the other perspective. We tend not to see the good changes that have happened in ourselves slowly over long periods.

A final perspective - Jesus can teach us how to love things right side up.

And grace? Well, the whole reason I'm a Christian pastor is not because I'm good at life, but that I've discovered a radical forgiver in Jesus.

If you're feeling anything remotely similar, can I invite you to church - we've been welcoming failures for 2000 years. But be warned, Jesus will change you. After all, that's really what you're after, isn't it?

St Paul's Anglican Church meets on Sundays at 9am with kids church. All welcome.